Aging on Our Terms
Women are not supposed to talk about this stuff.
We’re not supposed to discuss our hormones, our weight, our supplements, our pain, or the very specific and relentless effort it takes to feel good in a body that the culture has largely stopped paying attention to once it passes a certain age. We’re expected to either age invisibly or perform effortless wellness. Neither is honest.
I’m turning 60 at the end of this year, and I’m done with both.
What follows is a detailed, personal account of how I’m approaching this decade — the inner practices, the hormonal decisions, the Ayurvedic reset that changed everything, what I eat, how I move, and what I still haven’t figured out. I’m sharing it because the information that has helped me most came from other women who were willing to be specific. This is me returning that favor.
My grandmother on my dad’s side lived to 94. My great-grandmother on my mom’s side made it to 97. Statistically speaking, I could have a lot of road ahead of me. That thought is both thrilling and clarifying. If I’m going to be here for a while, I want to feel good the whole way through.
My mom didn’t get that chance. She died of ovarian cancer, and we’re fairly certain it was linked to Johnson & Johnson baby powder. She was otherwise in perfect health. Losing her that way changed something in me. It made me take my body seriously, not out of fear, but out of respect for what I still have.
So here’s what aging on my terms actually looks like. Not polished. Just honest.
The inner work
I’ve had a daily meditation practice since 1999. I write every morning, musing on what’s happening in the world and what it means to stay spiritually grounded inside of it. I use release techniques daily. I listen deeply to my intuition and the signals my body gives me. I spend time outdoors and am fortunate to live in gorgeous natural spaces that fill me with a sense of awe. I practice forgiveness, not as a concept but as an ongoing discipline. And I’ve gotten very intentional about who I spend time with. Protecting my energy isn’t selfish. At this point, it’s essential.
Hormones changed everything
Eight years ago I entered perimenopause. Instead of white-knuckling through it, I worked closely with my doctor and we found a hormone protocol that worked for me. That decision gave me my quality of life back. I wish more women knew this was an option and felt empowered to pursue it.
What I didn’t expect was how much the science would continue to evolve. Just last week, my OB-GYN — who has been practicing for over 40 years — told me it’s completely fine if I want to stay on hormones for the rest of my life. The research has shifted dramatically from what was believed 15+ years ago. In the right circumstances, hormones can actually be very good for the aging female body. That’s not the story most of us grew up hearing.
I’ve tried going off them a couple of times, just to see. Within a few weeks I felt miserable. That was all the data I needed. My body is happy with them. Unless something changes, I’m staying the course — and I feel grateful to have a doctor who supports that with both experience and current research behind her.
The mystery pain that changed my diet
About two years ago my body started talking loudly. Muscle twitching. Aching joints. Pain everywhere. I’d also gained about 10 pounds gradually over a decade (and the pandemic didn’t help) which no amount of exercise would budge.
I decided to work with an Ayurvedic doctor.
Within one month I felt like a different person. The weight came off fast and the pain mostly disappeared. I honestly couldn’t believe I was in the same body.
But I lost too much weight, and some parts of the new protocol were unsustainable for my life. So over the next four months I modified it, found what actually worked for me, and gained back about 4 pounds. Worth it. I went from feeling resentful about the diet to genuinely appreciating it. That shift mattered.
I’m Pitta in Ayurveda, which has shaped a lot of my choices.
What I eat on an average day
No snacking outside of meals. Organic as much as possible. No dairy. No to very little nightshades.
Breakfast: Organic coconut yogurt with berries, nut granola, and hemp hearts
Lunch: Chicken or beef, rice, vegetables
Dinner: Big salad with beans, nuts, veggies, artichoke hearts, sometimes meat, roasted sweet potatoes
Gluten, popcorn, and alcohol aren’t supposed to be in the picture, but I enjoy organic wine or high-grade tequila a few times a month, and gluten sneaks in roughly the same. And OMG, popcorn with butter at the movies is heaven. Pastries are bliss. Life is long. I’m not aiming for perfection.
Oh and chocolate, there is always space for a small bit at the end of meals ;)
Supplements and pharmaceuticals
Estradiol and progesterone daily. In the morning: collagen and organic greens powder in water, a multivitamin, boron, K2, D3, B12, fish oil, magnesium, Ubiquinol, and extra vitamin C. Glycine before bed.
Several of these are brand new thanks to a good friend sending me an Instagram reel and me trying them out. Totally shocked at how much better I feel as a result of them. (Nothing like realizing that we need our friends to help us make this work well.)
Movement
This is where I feel genuinely proud of myself:
On a weekly basis, I try to fit in: 3 -5 outside walks, 4 to 5 yoga and Pilates classes, 4 lap swims, 4 weight-oriented workouts, 3 to 4 Peloton rides, and at least 10 minutes of core every single day.
I won’t pretend I don’t sometimes wish I didn’t have to be this diligent. But I feel the difference when I am.
The one thing I haven’t solved
Sleep. I wake up two to four times a night. I’ve tried melatonin, CBD, and other interventions. Nothing works consistently. It’s the area I’m still figuring out, and I’m holding it lightly for now.
I’m standing at the edge of a new decade knowing I’ve inherited both longevity and loss. I’m not trying to outsmart aging. I’m just trying to meet it with as much intention, curiosity, and self-respect as I can.
But I want to name something that is VERY IMPORTANT. The fact that I have access to an experienced OB-GYN, an Ayurvedic doctor, quality food, and time to exercise is not lost on me. Most women don’t. The systems that are supposed to support women’s health — insurance, medical education, research funding, cultural messaging — have historically underserved us, particularly in midlife. Perimenopause wasn’t even a required topic in most medical schools until recently. The hormones that gave me my life back were, for decades, actively discouraged based on flawed research.
ALL women deserve better information. They deserve doctors who take their pain seriously. They deserve to know that what they’re feeling at 35, 45, 55, 65, 75, 85 is real, has solutions, and is worth fighting for.
I’m sharing the specifics of my own protocol not because it’s the answer, but because specificity is a form of respect. You deserve the full picture, not a curated highlight reel of effortless aging.
We’re not invisible. We’re not done. And we don’t have to figure this out alone.